Tag Archives: empathy.

Tackling WPW – Outtakes

 

Here are some of the outtakes, or bloopers if you will, from the Tackling WPW blog.  I would have loved to have them in the original post, but it just made things too long.  Some are funny and some are meaningless!  Enjoy!

Travel and Team

Arielle’s cardiologist, Dr. Black and his staff were instrumental in getting everything scheduled so that Arielle could have everything handled in one trip. You see, the electro-physiologist, Dr. David Bush was in San Antonio, as is Dr. Black. And we are in El Paso. Dr. Black is the cardiologist for Fort Bliss and has two regular appointment days monthly in El Paso.

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The nail that pierced my tire.

The date was set and the travel determined. Arielle and I piled in the Suburban and hit the road. San Antonio is about eight hours from El Paso.   The trip was uneventful with the exception of a nail in my tire that had to be repaired before even leaving El Paso. Did I assign that as an omen of things to come? Nope. This was literally a trip of a lifetime. This trip would change Arielle’s life forever. She would go from having a possible life threatening syndrome and ending her sports career to being free to soar to heights uncharted on the other side of this procedure. I was elated and anxious.

While Arielle was in San Antonio, her high school volleyball team was competing in a pre-season tournament in Corpus Christi TX. They all knew of Arielle’s diagnosis as she was unable to practice with the team for the two weeks leading up to the procedure. They really missed her on the court. To see Arielle’s volleyball skills, check out this video.

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That’s Arielle’s head

When we arrived at Six Flags we were both a little perplexed at our behavior. Since both Arielle and I are self-professed roller-coaster junkies, why are we not riding?!? Truth be told, we didn’t trust her heart to hold up. The procedure was looming and we were now well aware that she was at moderate risk with the WPW. We were afraid that she would be scared to death. We walked for a while in 100+ degree heat and then finally settled on the Poltergeist as the first ride. It was a good ice breaker. Arielle realized that her heart would hold up primarily because she was bored with the ride. The Poltergeist had no real thrill factor for her.

That set us off on a quest. We were looking for the ride that would deliver the thrill. We were in the hunt. Since it was a Thursday, the lines for the rides were fairly reasonable. So we hit it–hard.   We did Superman, Goliath, Boomerang, RoadRunner, the Iron Rattler, the Sky Screamer and then finally Batman. The ultimate test of a roller-coaster’s thrill for us is how you look on the picture that is taken and what exclamations or screams escape your lips as you ride!   Arielle smiled on all of the ride pics! I did well on all but one. The Iron Rattler was on for the ages! That one almost had me in need of a motion sickness pill. It was a great time and it kept our minds off of the WPW procedure.

After the park, we went and had a huge meal at Pappadeaux’s . This was going to be Arielle’s last meal before her procedure and I wanted to make it memorable. We had everything from appetizers to dessert. Arielle had her three favorite things, lobster, shrimp and pasta. She had the Lobster Mac & Cheese appetizer and the shrimp pasta entree.   Definitely memorable!

Pre-procedure antics
Pre-procedure antics

Ghetto Diaper

In the midst of this flurry of activity, Arielle feels the need to go to the bathroom. Since the procedure required entry in her groin, she couldn’t sit up and go to the bathroom the regular way, so Nurse Jennifer brought her a bed pan to use. It is very awkward to use a bedpan when you have use of all your faculties, but it is even more so when you are partially anesthetized and required to lay flat on your back! Arielle had no success with the bedpan even after 3 tries! The bladder was just not cooperating.

Arielle was upset because she really felt the need to go. She said It was at the point where her sides were hurting. But, being the typical teenager, she didn’t want to pee in the bed. Nurse Jennifer told her it was fine to pee in the bed that they would clean it up, but Arielle was not EVEN having that! Then Nurse Jennifer offered a diaper since she didn’t want to wet the bed. I interjected and opted for the diaper.

So Arielle was getting a diaper…NOT! Nurse Jennifer came back and said that they did not have diapers big enough for Arielle. She did offer to fashion a “ghetto diaper” out of the moisture pads that they place under you to protect the bedding. She was just about to do that when the crew came in to take Arielle back downstairs. I am not sure if Arielle was relieved to not get the ghetto diaper or not because she still really had to go!

Nurse Jennifer let Nurse Keri know about Arielle’s urinary dilemma and Nurse Keri said she would handle it downstairs. By “handle it” she meant put in a Foley catheter. When Nurse Keri came to get me from the waiting area she told me that Arielle REALLY did have to go badly. She utilized the catheter quite nicely.  And by nicely I mean filling the bag to near capacity!

Afterwards when Arielle woke up, she checked herself and realized that she had the catheter in and said “Mom! There is something in my V-Jay-Jay!” I explained to her that it is not in her V-Jay-Jay as she so eloquently put it, but it was what was helping her to go to the bathroom in lieu of the ghetto diaper!

Getting an appointment

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A T-shirt at Six Flags

Now I had to get an appointment at the clinic.

I called the Appointment services for Fort Bliss and was offered an appointment on September 9th. Are you kidding me?!? Unacceptable. The appointment rep told me to call back on Tuesday 8/25 to see if I can get an appointment for Wednesday. So I did.

I called the appointment line Tuesday 8/25 the minute they opened at 6:45am. Again I was offered September 9th.  Again I said unacceptable. I told the appointment rep that I needed an appointment today, 8/25 or tomorrow 8/26. He looked had me on the phone for 7 minutes looking for an appointment. I finally got an appointment for 8:40am on 8/26. It was with the same provider that started us on this journey. AND it was earlier than it would have been with Dr. Black! Win-Win!  I knew that the provider would have no problem doing what was required to get the EKG to Dr. Black.  She was VERY familiar with Arielle and her story.  She almost had a vested interest in getting her cleared for sports.

When we met with the provider, we gave an update of the procedure.  Then she put in the order to get an EKG done and to have it faxed to Dr. Bush. We know the EKG routine now and it’s not as scary as it was on the front side of this situation. At first we were hoping that nothing was found and we are still hoping that nothing is found, but for a very different reason this time. Finding nothing means everything this time.

We waited and waited to be called to the EKG room. Our nerves were still on edge because of what happened while in San Antonio. The EKG was done and we left. Both Arielle and I were still uneasy, because it just seemed like the med tech didn’t do the EKG right. She just did not know what was riding on this EKG. One slip up and we are in trouble.

Now we just had to wait for the final review by Dr. Bush. I contacted the office to make sure that the EKG fax had been received. But Dr. Bush would not read the fax on Wednesday. He was in Laredo doing screenings. He would be back in the office on Thursday to read the EKG. So we had to wait ONE More Day.

The bad thing about waiting the one day means that she would not be quite ready to play in the volleyball tourney in Wofford TX, the weekend of August 28th – 29th. She was allowed to attend the tourney because her discharge paperwork said that she was able to practice but not released to compete. So I am waiting to get the clearance so I can get it to the trainer, so he can get it to the coach, so she can take the court with the team on Friday morning. Talk about cutting it close!

Clearance Day

Once Arielle’s official clearance was received from Dr. Bush and sent to the trainer, it was discovered that Arielle had not turned in her physical form. This meant that she would not get clearance from the trainer to compete until it was turned in. But she is already in Frenship suited up and ready to go! Unaware of any of this, I am driving my son, Benjamin, to school when my cell phone begins to go crazy. First it’s a text from the trainer requesting the physical. I have it so I will email it. Then I get a call from the Coach. OK I relay the same message. I will email it in 30 minutes. Then she says, “but we are warming up right now.” That’s when I realize that they are on Central Standard Time in Lubbock and not Mountain Time, thus 1 hour ahead. Oh Snap!

Then I get a call from the trainer. I tell him that I am heading that way and can bring the physical by his office on my way to work. “OK , that’s fine.” And then I panic! Do I still have the physical in my purse or did I leave it at the office?!? I commence to praying, because I cannot stop and check my purse. Oh boy…

I arrive at Burges, disobey the traffic monitor and barrel through the parking lot to get to the trainer. He is outside waiting for me! Thank God, I find the physical in my purse. We run in the office and get the paperwork cranking. While I am signing the physical, he is on his phone. He is literally dialing the coach as I write. I finish signing and he says into the phone “OK Coach, she’s a go!” It is 7:55am here and 8:55am there; 5 minutes before game-time! Crisis averted, yet again! He gets her information updated on the system, gives me Arielle’s official clearance paper and I am gone. And yes the traffic monitor is still there, giving me dirty looks…oh well…

10 Steps to Navigating “The Bad Performance” Meltdown

Compass and Map

We have all been there and we have all witnessed it…That moment when your child has an awful performance when he/she should have had their best. The meltdown is brewing just under the surface and you have to help your child save face. Here is a list of 10 things to help your child get through “the bad performance” meltdown moment.

1.  Remember: This is NOT about you!

  • I know you feel badly for your child and you wanted so desperately for them to do better. It pains you to see your child in turmoil, but he/she has just endured what feels like the upset of a lifetime…your focus is on them. You can grieve later.

2.  Get someplace private quickly.

  • My vehicle is my place of choice. No distractions, semi-private, and can be moved to a more secluded area for additional privacy.

**NOTE: DO NOT drive while doing these steps! You must be fully present in the moment and give your child your undivided attention.  Your child’s mental well-being depends on you in this moment. FOCUS on them.

3.  Give your child room and permission to let it out.

  • Let them know you are there to listen then keep quiet and do it!
  • No judgment, no censorship.

How you feel about what he/she is saying is not important. Your child is entitled to their feelings.

4.  Don’t rush the moment. Give it time.  

  • Let them find their own words. No prompting.
  • I know the silence is deafening and you want to fill it with all the many quips, quotes and “isms” to make it all better. NOT NOW! This is your child’s time.

5.  Let them vent.

  • Do not attempt to console them or make it better.
  • Trying to console them is our selfish attempt to assuage our own discomfort at their situation. It does not help the child.

6.  Listen to them! Really engage.

  • It is their moment, their feelings. Remain focused. Being distracted will damage trust if he/she asks you a question “mid-vent” and you haven’t been listening!
  • Make mental notes of things that you wish to clarify AFTER the venting is complete.

7.  Correct erroneous, derogatory or self-deprecating comments that your child makes about him/herself.

  • For example: “Yeah because I suck!” or “I’m a screw-up!”
  • Those must be addressed immediately.
  • Interruptions, at this point, are allowed, but do not steal the floor.
  • Help him/her distinguish themselves from the event.
  • Example: “Yes, perhaps you did not have your best performance today, but you are still the same person who set the record, hit the note that brought the crowd to its feet, choreographed that killer routine, got the sack, interception, TD, goal, free throw etc. just last week. And you are still that person right now. Tonight is an event in your life, it is not you.”

8.  Give them time and opportunity to grieve the moment.

  • I allow my child 5 minutes to do whatever he/she needs to engage and express the intense emotion that comes with a loss or disappointment.
  • She can scream, cry, roll around on the floor, jump around, yell or punch a pillow.
  • Profanity, self-inflicted pain, and property damage or destruction is NOT allowed.
  • Teach appropriate behaviors for dealing with grief.
  • While watching your child rolling on the floor may make you uncomfortable, it is a lot less painful than other things that your child may find to numb unexpressed pain later on.
  • This can become quite the comical moment, but try to remain focused on the gravity of the situation.
  • At around 2 minutes the grief subsides. (It does not last forever even though it may feel that way.)
  • At about 3 minutes she begins to feel silly because it doesn’t hurt anymore.

**NOTE: It is important that you emphasize that once he/she has this moment to grieve, that the pain and emotion of the situation is over. The event can only be revisited and used as a learning tool, not to be worn as a badge of one’s inferiority.

9.  Wash away the physical residue of the moment/event.

  • Once she is done with the grief, then it is time to get some comfort food, a good movie, ice cream, a hot bath or whatever lifts the spirit to a happy place.

10.  Find something good in the situation

  • Even meltdown moments have flashes of brilliance. Emphasize the good in the midst of the bad so that your child knows that all is not lost and he/she WILL live to perform another day.